Ammonia

Some cleaners are definitely the unsung heroes of the household. Ammonia certainly belongs in that category.

For the many uses of ammonia, there is someone who hates it purely because of the odor it puts off. I’m sure it is for good reason, as it is probably an unconscious reaction to the same smell dead animals put off during the putrefaction process, which kinds of tells the brain this food is no good, find something else. Of course, it’s the same smell that your kitty litter puts out when it needs to be changed, as the many early forms of ammonia were simply fermented urine. And no, this isn’t a joke.

“Darling, have you cleaned the china yet? The dinner party is in two days!” asked the gentlemen of the house.

“Still waiting for the piss-pot to turn ammonia, Darling!” informed the lady of the house.

While I don’t use ammonia as often as, say, vinegar, there are many household uses for which nothing else works quite like it. For one thing, it is an excellent linoleum cleaner for when you are out of PineSol or Lysol, or simply looking for the cheapest alternative. And of course most everyone knows that ammonia is a key component to a streak-free shine on glass and metal, and can be used in a spray bottle the same way you would use glass cleaner. It also works great in the toilet bowl, as ammonia is used in the formation of urea, which is basically what our pee is, and because of this it strips away any stubborn spots from, uh, people who have a tendency to miss the bowl. But the best application I have found it good for is cleaning outdoor plastic patio furniture. Those white plastic chairs, especially if you are like us and always forget to bring them in for the winter, get that grey discoloration that nothing seems to be able to take off. Well, ammonia does. Simply pour a little onto an old rag and wipe down the chair completely and the stains will disappear like magic!

“Sucio no más… ¡está limpio!"

But, while most of us know ammonia to be a household cleaner, that isn’t its most common purpose. Believe it or not, over eighty percent of the world’s ammonia production is used for fertilizer. It is a key component to making plants grow stronger and healthier. Of course, nearly every creature on the earth creates ammonia, converts it to urea or uric acid, and then excretes it where it eventually returns back to ammonia. That is why manure from animals like cows and chickens is composted and used as a fertilizer, and also why it seems that when the dog pees in a certain spot during the rainy season, the grass grows extremely well, but during a dry spell it dies.