Eggs

When nature gives you one of the most perfect foods, you eat it. And when nature lives in your backyard, you eat a lot of it. Eggs are just this, and thank goodness they are delicious.

I didn’t grow up a farm boy, but I loved the fact that my grandparents on my mother’s side had a farm. Cows, sheep, horses and of course chickens… not to mention the hoard of stray, feral cats that made the barn their home. It wasn’t until I was older that I understood why he would feed them instead of get rid of them, as they were live death traps for rodents who would otherwise steal feed and eggs. Whenever we would visit, I wanted to hang out in the barn to count how many cats were there that day… and to sneak a quick taste of a fresh saltlick, which if Grampa (yes, I know it is spelled wrong, but this was the title I gave him) was putting one out, would let me take a few licks first. Call me weird, but something about a big red brick of salt still makes my mouth water.

Anyway, the multiple mutt chickens they had were all free-range. They had an A-frame henhouse which could comfortably hold about fifty chickens, though by today’s backyard poultry standards would only be large enough for about a dozen. It was just the right size for their flock, and for my tall grandfather to walk inside to collect eggs and clean out droppings. Sometimes if we were lucky, my brother and I would go collect the eggs, however I neglected to mention they had the meanest rooster in the world, and when he saw HIS eggs being stolen from the nest boxes, would chase after us and peck at them. My coat pockets would be filled with broken eggs by the time I’d get back to the house, which I’m sure was a lot of fun to clean out, which, of course, I left for my mother to take care of since I would be rocking myself in a corner, muttering nonsensical phrases to nobody in particular. I remember the day we went over to visit and found out that some of the neighboring dogs had killed off all but one of the chickens, and since they were in the process of selling off most of their land for a housing development, they wouldn’t be getting any more to replace them. There is a house now where the barn once stood, but fortunately the henhouse was moved into their backyard where my aunt, uncle and three cousins currently use it as a storage shed. I keep trying to convince them to get a few hens, as it wouldn’t take much effort to fence in a small section of their three-acre property if they didn’t want to free-range them, but alas, they still haven’t done so.

So after growing up, meeting the love of my life, who happened to grow up with chickens, and buying a house with a yard that seemed to be made for the keeping of poultry, we made the decision a few years ago to look into getting some laying hens. We checked local ordinances (which was an ordeal) and were finally told that whatever Portland, Oregon’s laws were, Vancouver, Washington probably had the same rule. Sure enough, we found that they were the same. Any single-family residence could have up to three hens within city limits. Outside city limits there were no restrictions. We live in a small pocket of county, and are completely surrounded by the city. If you go a half-mile in any direction, you will be in the city, and I’m sure the only reason we haven’t been incorporated is because there are still a couple large farms close by. All this is good news for us, as it means more chickens, which also means more of their delicious eggs for eating. We currently have eight hens, and all are laying quite regularly, so we haven’t had to buy eggs from the store in well over a year, even with all the baking I do.

But I have to say the best part about eggs is their nutritional value, and how efficient our bodies so readily metabolize them. A raw egg is only about sixty percent metabolized, which is relatively good compared to a majority of our foods, because omnivores in general are the least efficient nutrient extractors on the planet. However, a cooked egg is over ninety percent metabolized, making it the most perfect protein on the planet, and one that doesn’t involve slaughtering. Heck yeah! But that is not all. Studies have proven that eggs do not contribute to higher cholesterol and actually contain the very nutrients to keep your heart healthy. Studies have also proven that eating eggs for breakfast will keep you full longer, because the cooked protein takes longer to metabolize, which also will help you lose weight as the process of reverting a solid egg back to a liquid state is metabolically costly, resulting in a higher caloric burn. Double heck yeah!! And all this protein-rich goodness in a shelf-stable, bacteria-resistant shell? Triple heck yeah!!!

Eggs really are one of the world’s most perfect foods, even store bought eggs. So feel free to eat a bunch, and who knows… you may just take a few pounds off at the same time.