Fish

We have fish. We have fish in an aquarium inside, and we have pond fish outside. Well, currently we have pond fish in the as-yet-to-be-finished half bathroom in a bucket. I now, it’s attractive, let me tell you.

Anyway, it got me thinking, aren’t fish usually a “first pet” for children? I mean, families may have a family pet, but a pet that is actually a child’s responsibility is usually small and easy to care for, like fish. And the thing about fish is their uncanny ability to just unexpectedly float up and die. Which leaves you with a dilemma: Do you get another fish to replace the dead one before the child notices, or do you take this opportunity to teach your child about death? The easier thing to do would be to just go to the pet store and hope Suzy doesn’t notice that her goldfish changed colors slightly, but I think the more responsible thing to do would be to take the chance to tell your kid about loss.

As difficult as it may be to watch a child cry over the passing of their fish, it is a valuable teaching tool that will inevitably help them grieve the passing of a loved one. It will prepare them in letting them know that death is simply a part of life. That we love, lose, and love again. That death is not something to be feared, but something to help realize life won’t last forever. That every day is precious, and they should make the most of it, not worrying, but living. That it is okay to cry when feeling sad, but not let that sadness linger when it is time to celebrate and laugh.

Yes, we have fish. And yes, we have lost more than a few, and more than I can remember or count, and three just this morning. But if it weren’t for my first pet dying, and the moment my parents took to teach me about birth, life and death, I don’t know how I could have grieved the passing of my grandfather when I was sixteen, as it too was sudden and unexpected. I remember the day he died quite clearly, but I also remember all the time we spent together cleaning out the barn or gathering eggs with a broom handle to beat off the roosters when they tried to attack or eating Cream of Wheat with burnt toast.