Writing

While doing the dishes yesterday, as mindless a thing as it really is, I was struck by Inspiration. It has been a good eight years since this last happened.

When I was in high school, I had an idea for a young adult novel. By the time I finished the book (or as finished as a seventeen year old would write a novel), I realized that the storyline wasn’t complete and it really should be a trilogy. And so with that, I started writing book two immediately and, well, haven’t written much since because that middle chapter in a series has the most pressure to be better than its predecessor. Alas, it is now seventeen years later since I’ve plotted out any words for this book… until yesterday.

First of all, I’m horrible with doing things like “Outlines” and “Character Dossiers” even though I attempted to do both of these things with part two. I actually have more written for book three than I had total pages for book one when I originally wrote it, although after fleshing it out and deleting unnecessary or unneeded scenes (a painful process to say the least) back in 2004, I managed to double the size of the first book. Book two, on the other hand, I only had three chapters written, along with random thoughts and ideas thrown out on two different computers for possible plot points which, of course, would only come in the middle of the night when I should have been sleeping.

Second, I love the process of writing that involves nothing more than an inanimate object for  inspiration. My Creative Writing teacher in high school gave us an assignment whereupon he brought a pile of dirt and told us to write about it. I immediately started writing what would become a key chapter in the first young adult novel in this series I’m trying to finish. Of course, the teacher asked for a poem or short story, and me being me, chose to write a chapter in a book. Poetry isn’t one of my strong suits, but I must admit, I find them easier to write the older I get. Anyway, the teacher wanted more, so each weekly assignment we were given was the next chapter in the book and by the end of the year it was done. Well, mostly done.

After submitting it for publication the following year, I received some excellent feedback, but ultimately a rejection. The editor asked one very simple question that has stuck with me ever since: “Why should we care about these characters?” It was blunt and honest and true. In my head, these characters were very real, but in black and white they were one dimensional and lacking personality. After that, life got in the way. Being out in the real world made for a very different perspective. Experiencing life that, while sheltered in high school I never could fully appreciate, helped me realize what I needed to do. I knew I had to reread the first book and figure out what I could do to make it work. It was a promise I made to my grandmother on her deathbed, and a promise I intend to keep, no matter how long it takes.

And so, while holding a knife and cleaning bits of stuck-on garlic carefully so as to not slice my fingers off because, yes, it is that sharp, a scene that would fit perfectly into book two popped into my head which helped me plot out the rest of the book. Sometimes Inspiration takes her time, but when it hits, magic happens. I can’t wait to continue with this next chapter in my life.

Buttons

The thing about saying I’m going to be productive means the probability of me actually being productive drops by a factor of ten. It’s sad, really.

So productivity and I aren’t friends. However, I did manage to sew on the buttons for my husband’s clown vest! I even, if you can believe it, managed to also sew the button holes too! Of course, most of my day was spent watching movies on Netflix. I’m not sure why, but my motivation as of late has been a little, well, absent. Whether it is the prospect of having to move again or that mid-spring-you-should-be-doing-something-outside I’m not certain.

Perhaps what I need to do is make a plan with rewards; if I do this then I can do that. Of course, I’m a spontaneous person in that manner. I can’t spring on creativity. It’s the same with writing. I don’t plan what I’m going to write about, I just sit down, come up with a topic and start typing… as if that wasn’t obvious by this blog.

Forcing Creativity

When life gets in the way of being creative, sometimes you have to force it. However, this isn’t always the best thing to do.

A typical day for me goes like this: Wake up; feed the dog and cats; make coffee; blog; shower and get dressed; go to work; maybe quilt on my lunch break; come home and cook dinner; sit in front of the television and stare absentmindedly while probably also on the internet doing the same. Boring. My days off I tend to spend cleaning and doing laundry rather than anything fun… most of the time. Lately I’ve been forcing myself to do something creative on my days off by making How To videos. It does take a little bit of planning to put one of these together, something I am admittedly bad at, but I find that if I still keep the project unscripted and spontaneous I don’t lose interest halfway through. Of course, sometimes this can still backfire.

Forcing creativity is at times a double edged sword. On one end is the side that says, “Yay! I’m doing something creative! My mind is happy!” and on the other end, “I frakking hate this project and I just want to burn it.” Okay, so maybe those are a little extreme. However, I will say that when I was working on The Uninspired Quilt this is how I felt. I’m sure a big part of it was the bad memories of buying the fabric from The Most Evil Corporation in the World, but also I spent so long trying to figure out what to do with it I gave up and just started cutting it into large scale squares and triangles.

So now what? I’ve got a finished quilt I hate, or at the very least find extremely unpleasant. Well, I have options. I can sell it to recoup my costs, which was roughly $30 worth of material and cotton batting. I can donate it, but I feel like I’ve made far too many quilts that ended up getting donated in the past year for various fundraisers. Or I can make it better. Methinks that the latter might be the way to go. Perhaps I should take another good look at the quilt and figure out what I could do to improve on it. Or perhaps I should go with my gut and turn this ugly duckling into a funky Tiki Quilt since the fabrics have a Polynesian feel to them already. Now I suppose the big question I need to answer is whether or not I’ll simply go find a coordinating Tiki print to cut out and appliqué the little figures or make my own?

Spoonflower

Experience

As a kid I thought I’d be the best author and illustrator the world had ever seen. As an adult I see the value of life experiences developing both.

Lately I’ve been toying with getting back into writing and illustrating children’s books. I don’t know if it is because I’ve given away a few of the ones I did when I was a kid lately for baby showers and Christmas presents after having a small batch printed or because we acquired a couple of part time kids ourselves, but the bug has bitten. I think I’m ready again, and it is a weird feeling because I haven’t been ready in a long time. Of course that means it is just another hobby to cut into my growing list, but if anything, I’m at my most creative when I’ve got multiple projects to work on. Then again, I’m at my least creative when I’m overwhelmed, so I also need to figure out a way to keep everything in check.

My parents, all four of them, encouraged me to explore my creative side, which is probably why I have so many different interests now as an adult. It’s funny how as a kid where you think life will take you and how once you get closer and closer to adulthood reality has other plans. I’m sure that if I were another person with ambition and focus I could have taken those childhood dreams and made them reality, but that just isn’t me. Setting goals and sticking to them is only a recent addition to my psyche and it is taking time to develop. That requires patience, something I had an abundance of in my younger years that I sorely lack now.

So in between quilting, developing a new line for my Etsy shop and figuring out how to continue my cake business while working (and updating my website while I’m at it), I plan on working on a new children’s book as well as finish the illustrations for one I revamped seven years ago. It has been seven years since my muse passed away and time for me to move on and find my inner muse instead. I miss my Grandma S. terribly, but her memory shouldn’t stop me from fulfilling my dreams and in fact should have just the opposite effect. And so, with that, I’m adding another goal to my list and hopefully another checkmark on it soon.

Two More Blocks

This weekend I was able to do a little more quilting while the kiddos were either napping or sleeping. Literally just a little, mind you.

My Batik Sampler Quilt is on its way thanks to Jane over at Want it, Need it, Quilt! (http://quiltjane.blogspot.com) who is hosting The Desperate Housewife’s Quilt on her blog. So far I’ve learned a lot, mostly that I’m not so great at accurate piecing. However, I will say that focusing on making quilt blocks a little at a time is helping to feed my creative side and also energizing me to try to do more, like the blocks from guest bloggers.

Making these blocks has also got me wanting to work on my Fall Quilt too. I’ve got a feeling that once I get back to working on the feature panels I’m appliquéing the rest will simply fall into place. I mean, I already have all my fabric picked out and the design I want to use, so it is only a matter of cutting and piecing.

However I will say I’ve been wanting to make the kids some activity bags to hold their coloring books, crayons, paper and also make part of the surface from chalkboard fabric. I’m thinking of having them pick out their fabric for the bags and I’ll try to figure out a simple design that will be perfect for long car rides. Especially one we will be taking very soon with the munchkins. Now if only I could make my creative side want to start decorating cakes again, too?

Leftovers

Leftovers are great. Assuming you can use them.

It seems that we always have leftovers from dinners or large lunches, but rarely enough for both of us to eat another meal out of them. What I’ve found is that by thinking outside the box, a small amount of leftovers can become a completely different meal by adding a few other ingredients. I’m sure you all have your own tricks to stretching your grocery bill, but here are a few of mine.

Spaghetti is a main staple in our house, not just because it is easy to make but because it is relatively inexpensive. Typically I only use half a box of noodles, which means when two adults eat a meal there is usually enough for a little more than one person to have leftovers. However, add a can of chili, a little sour cream and some shredded cheddar and parmesan cheese, bake until bubbly and you’ve got Chilighetti. It may seem odd to combine those particular flavors together, but the results are delicious.

Fajitas are another main dinner in our household for the same reasons as spaghetti. Now sometimes we are so hungry there aren’t any leftovers, but most of the time there are enough to turn into another meal. Fortunately the ingredients I use, chicken, red bell pepper, onions, garlic and jalapeños, work well in a variety of dishes in the Tex-Mex menu options. For this reason it is easy to work the filling into quesadillas or with the addition of either refried or black beans into a topping for nachos. However, one of my favorite uses is for Black Bean Soup. I cheat and buy a large box of black bean soup and heat it along with the leftover fajitas and a can of black beans for substance. Topped with sour cream and sliced green onions and you’ve got a delicious and filling soup.

Pulled pork is another dish that is relatively easy to make in a crock pot, but can be utilized for a plethora of other dishes. I cook mine for thirty-two hours in a special blend of spices I create and rub the pork with before cooking. But aside from pulled pork sandwiches with coleslaw, the meat can be used for enchiladas when combined with black beans and my homemade enchilada sauce, wrapped in tortillas, covered in cheese and baked until bubbly. Other uses are tacos, burritos, pretty much any dish that you’d use shredded beef or chicken you can use pulled pork for. It also works eaten cold in salads.

Of course there are plenty of other ways to make a small main course work again, either by adding an extra vegetable dish or two and some bread. We typically eat a lot of salad with our meals, especially in the summer, but canned or frozen veggies will work in a pinch, and we always have those on hand. We almost always have bread of some sort in the house, but English muffins make great cheesy garlic bread.

Alas, the best way to utilize leftovers in new ways is to plan ahead. I typically plan three meals a week when grocery shopping and use the leftovers for the remaining days. While this doesn’t always work out as planned, I make sure I’ve got substitute meals on hand just in case… like a box of macaroni and cheese with half a pound of chopped broccoli.

Drawing

I used to draw a lot, to the point where we would constantly be running out of paper. I’m thinking it’d be a good idea to further my artistic capabilities and pick up a pen and paper again.

When I was younger it seemed like I drew all day, coloring in my artwork, creating stories to go with some of them. It even got to the point where on nice days my parents would kick me out of the house… albeit they wouldn’t forbid me taking my art supplies outside and so I would continue on the front porch or back deck. But those days were a very long time ago and I haven’t really focused on anything much since, with the exception of the occasional painting (I think it’s been 3 years since my last) or simple drawing for a quilt appliqué pattern.

At the very least I want to start illustrating again. I feel like my artwork isn’t what it used to be, mostly because I feel so out of practice. I think I’m going to go back to my old sketchbook and work myself back into using my Wacom Pen and Tablet on the computer because it seems like I’ve forgotten the feel of a brush stroke on canvas or a pen stroke on paper or the joy of blending and coloring with colored pencils. Plus, while talking with my pastor on Saturday as we were representing our church at a booth in Esther Short Park he asked if I had thought about doing illustrations and I had to sheepishly reply that I used to a long time ago. It got me wondering, why did I stop?

Life. Stress. Responsibilities.

Many of the things that have happened over the last decade and a half have caused me to grow up, and with that my creativity slumped in the process. Instead I found myself focusing my creative energy into practical things like food and baby blankets and gardening. You’d think that with this now almost two year gap in employment I’ve been in I’d have found some time to draw or paint, but my artistic side has taken a beating from years of neglect and I found myself not even wanting to drag out the paint and brushes or pull out a piece of paper and the container of colored pencils sitting on my desk in my craft room.

I may not get to the point again where you couldn’t drag me out of the house without a multitude of art supplies, but I’d like to just carry a sketchbook around again at least, just in case the mood to draw something strikes me. Maybe if I start working out some of the random thoughts that continuously flow through my head when they are actually passing by I might just feel like I’m not wasting what talents God has bestowed upon me.

Dreams

Most of the time I don’t remember what I dreamt about once I wake up. Lately things have changed.

This past week I’ve had some pretty vivid dreams. I’m not talking about the weird went-to-the-grocery-store-and-the-cashier-was-a-talking-human-sized-cat-who-had-a-British-accent-and-asked-politely, “Paper-or-plastic?” dream. I mean dreams that could be plots to entire novels here in a sense that there is a beginning, middle, end and character development throughout with an intriguing storyline.

If this sounds a little odd, well, I am. But the last few times this has happened I was suddenly thrust into a creative streak that seemed like it would never end until, of course, it did. Of course, this also seems to coincide with times that are particularly busy and I can’t focus on being creative, which makes me think that a job must be lining up. We’ll see how that pans out.

In the mean time I’m going to see where these dreams lead me. I’ve always thought the unconscious mind knows more about what is going on than the conscious one. Then again, there is the large talking cat at the grocery store.