Underwear Shopping

While some of you may enjoy shopping for underwear, I despise one of the tactics employed by the manufacturer. It seems they take great pleasure to lure you in with an extra pair, only to have you discover that your size is the only one that doesn’t come with it.

Okay, so maybe I’m bitter at the fact that my average size makes it difficult to pick up any deals or sales because it is usually the first to go. While Smalls and Extra Larges have a multitude of free underwear available, my Mediums had none… not even in the underwear I would never buy. I’m a bargain hunter, as most know, or a cheapskate if you want another term, so the fact that I didn’t see any didn’t stop me from searching through every single package to make sure. Obsessive? Maybe. Financially conscious? Yes.

The only reason I needed to buy new underwear was because, well, after a while the holes in some of my older pairs were larger than the areas they are meant to keep covered. This would be great for, say, an S & M porn shoot, but I’m not a porn star nor have any desire to do that kind of work. Why then would I keep them? In case the other pairs were all dirty, of course. However, with their slight usefulness waning I decided to just break down and get a few more.

Underwear shopping irks me almost as much as shopping for jeans, which, admittedly are probably the hardest things to shop for. What? You think us guys can just go out and buy any pair of jeans, put them on and be done with it? Clearly you don’t understand the difficulties in finding just the right pair of jeans that flatters our asses while not flattening out the package. This is why most guys will wear a pair of jeans to their death. Personally the main jeans I wear I’ve had for ten years and yes, there are holes all over them and yes, I’ve had to sew areas back together on them, but they fit. I know that eventually the holes will become too much, like with the underwear fiasco, and I dread that day because I will then have to go searching for that elusive perfect pair of blue jeans.

However, all was not lost on my underwear shopping experience. I found a package similar to ones I wear (because apparently basic underwear has to go through a yearly makeover too) and wandered over to the 75% off Clearance section and found another screen tee to add to my collection for $1.98. Sometimes things work out for a reason. Mine was Captain America.