Last night my partner and I were discussing life goals we have. Sadly, I think I’ve given up on most of mine.
You know when you were a kid and a parent or teacher asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up and your response was either a doctor or fireman or whatever respectable career choice. My response was an artist… or a writer, or a painter, or a cartoon animator, or a movie director, or an actor, or a puppeteer, or… Even from a young age I couldn’t make a decision about what I wanted to be, and now at 33 years old I’m no better off.
As a creative-type, I find it difficult to box myself into one career category because I have too many passions. If, say, I only had one or two that would be different as I could probably integrate them or go from one to the other, something the wide-spectrum of creative arts doesn’t necessarily allow for. Also, my lack of education seems to be a stumbling block. Sometimes I wished I had saved up a little more money before moving out of my parent’s house and in with my partner so I at least could’ve finished up my Associates Degree, because, even as a generic degree, it would have been a stepping stone into a better paying job and higher education which, even if it didn’t propel me toward a career I wanted would land me a well-paying job that I’d be able to explore some of those options without worrying about finances. However, that is the past and I must think about the future, and the future is telling me to go back to school.
I still don’t exactly know what I want to be when I grow up, even as other people seem to think they do. I mean, just because I’m good at something doesn’t mean that is what I want to do with the rest of my life, but at the same time barely scraping by at a job that pays just above minimum wage isn’t exactly a dream either. During the past couple years I squandered any opportunities to explore any creative outlets I may have been able to do in exchange for the security of an unemployment check. That isn’t to say that I didn’t apply to positions that would’ve allowed me to utilize my talents, because I did, but without the education or work history in those fields it’s damn near impossible to even land an interview. Sometimes I wish I had my own DeLorean Time Machine to go back into the past and kick my younger self in the ass.
Free Quilt Pattern: Beachy Bargello
23 hours ago
I know exactly how you feel. Never give up though, at 40 I decided it was finally time to get that degree...now I am half way through and STILL don't know what I want to be.
ReplyDeleteI am 54 and still don't know and probably never will. I am a full time parent of 3 boys because there doesn't appear to be anything one thing I would just love to do. My younger working life revolved around doing what ever I had to to make a living and because societal pressure was that you worked. It doesn't matter what the job is you just had to work. I have done many types of jobs from picking tobacco, apples to just farm labor work. Building houses, working in pottery. That was something I enjoyed and was very good at as a result. I could throw pots so well that the potters I worked for had me on the wheel full time and that evolved into throwing pots on contract for many potters. It became laborious and boring and I really would have preferred to be a pottery owner myself but my skills were limited to the wheel throwing pots because I was good at it.
ReplyDeleteI went back to education and got a degree in Nursing thinking that this would be a good area to work in because I enjoyed helping others. After completing the degree however I found that to be good at nursing it had to be a calling really... You had to actually love being selfless and only want to help others. Eventually I found the constant neediness of people who hardly had much problems compared to others way to much and started to dislike the wieners. You cant care for people that you start to despise.
I then met someone younger than myself who was in the middle of getting her degree and was wanting to enter into a career. After a year or so together we felt we wanted to stay together and build a life with kids etc. We both agreed that because she wanted to pursue a career and we both wanted kids that we would opt for the one parent full time and one bringing home the bacon so that's how it went.
It's been almost 14 years now and being full time homemaker is one of the toughest jobs I have ever experienced.
So at 55 and having done this and that feel no different than I did at any other stage in my life. I really don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
I guess some of us just know and some of us only find out when we stumble across it, and perhaps the rest just never find it.
Wow, that's amazing! Thanks so much for another perspective, it's really great to hear from other people on how they handle this touchy subject that when we're younger seems so innocent, but as we get older becomes almost a burden for those of us who really don't know. Thank you again!
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