Petty Drama

Sometimes I have to wonder about a person’s motives when they suddenly do a one-eighty. Especially when there are children involved.

One thing I don’t understand is why people use other people. Friendship is one thing where there is a mutual goal of being there for one another, but when it starts to lean towards one doing most of the work in the relationship while the other demands more and more and then when they’ve gotten all the use out of you they could possibly get simply end the friendship by saying they never trusted you in the first place, one has to wonder what the hell is really going on.

I suppose there are reasons for wanting someone you don’t like in your life if you are going to be receiving something in return, like help watching an unwanted nephew or two, or moving into a new house. Wait a minute. No I don’t. I’m not that kind of person. Yes, I may be a control freak and have my own quirks, like what utensils go where in the kitchen, but these quirks mostly affect me and nobody else. There are those who feel a need to have absolute power over others because somewhere in their past they felt powerless and over the years developed a hatred over what made them powerless in the first place. Not that I want to make a comparison of this person and Hitler, but at the same time if left unchecked that is exactly what can happen if the person has the ambition to do so.

I guess I am at a loss when I think about the whole situation. Yes, there were warning signs, like suddenly after they were completely moved into the house and had us haul their new refrigerator in they simply cut off contact until we were forced to interact at a birthday party, but at the same time I don’t know what led up to the point they no longer wanted to be friends. Was it something we said or did? And then it hit us… this all transpired after her sister, the mother of the boys we watch every other weekend, asked if we’d be interested becoming their fathers legally, with all three of us sharing custody. This must have triggered something in her, probably due to previous conversations where she wanted us to approach her sister about adopting the boys from her. Somehow I think she feels threatened that her sister was the one to approach us about co-parenting the boys with her. I wonder if she thinks this means we want to take the kids away from their mom if we go through with the adoption process? But why would we do that? What good would that do the boys or us for that matter?

Somehow I feel there is something deeper going on. My husband does too. And why they feel that I’m the good guy and he is the asshole is beyond me, especially since I share the same sentiments he does. The only difference is that I may not always express them verbally. Huh. I guess I am expressing them literally here so I wonder which one of us is really the bad guy? Oh well. If they want to go on thinking that I’m the terrific person their preconceived notions and imaginations have made me out to be, fine. But honestly, my husband is a much better father-figure to these kids than I am. While I’d prefer to simply set them in front of a television for hours at a time, he takes them to the park or plays games with them. Funny, I wonder if they read this blog entry if they’d still see me as this terrific, wonderful person? I guess what I really want to know is that if they never trusted us in the first place, why did they seek us out to be positive male role models in not only their own kids’s life, but her nephews as well, especially after not talking to us for years for another petty argument?