I’ll be honest, there is a lot going on in our lives right now. Between drama with the boys’s aunts, our old house reverting back to the bank since nobody even made a bid on the mold infested structure and the few things we had left there thrown out, along with coolant issues on one of our cars. There’s more, but these are the big ones. When life comes at me in so many directions, I tend to either shutdown or ignore the problems. I don’t know why, but it must be some self defense mechanism that triggers when the going gets tough rather than simply dealing with the problems head on.
Yesterday for example, I was blogging and started going off on a tangent for twenty minutes before I realized what time it was, and there was no way I could ever publish what I wrote so I just deleted it and abruptly ended the entry with a quick couple sentences. I’ve used writing as a distraction for much of my life, so sometimes it is a great stress reliever and other times an inducer. Worst of all is when it is both.
Alas, something has got to give. Perhaps I need to focus on getting beyond the problems at hand and stop ignoring them. Perhaps I need to figure out how to prevent getting to this position in the first place. Perhaps I just need a swift kick in the ass.